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Friday, February 22, 2008

be prepared to change your position on cloning entirely



It's just before midnight, you're at the bar, you take a knee and kill your third PBR and Turkey 101 combo meal, you look at the dance floor and see like 40 banging ladies begging for someone to blow their minds. You look to the left, theirs a dude with a bandanna around his neck shooting toy guns at this scantily-clad minx who's eye are shouting out in pain "IT'S BEEN DONE!". You look to the right, there's a guy vogueing his Gazelles and Ed Hardy T in this deliciously fit wet-dream of a harlots face, who with every fist pump of the air signals "SAVE ME.....PLEASE SAVE ME". Then you look dead ahead, theres and open spot on the dance floor. The DJ drops the track, Champaign - Part Time 2000 starts kicking into full gear. You smell the sweat beading up on all the borderline she-males/80's boogaloo jerkoffs forehead's, who's ears are warning them "maybe were out of our league on this one".
Pop-quiz asshole.....what do you do!?!!?

A fucking running knee slide out onto that dance floor is what you do. Then you reach into your woven leather Bottega Veneta handbag and pull out your.................Brand New GLOW IN THE DARK Turkish Angora Cat fresh out of South Korea!

(I bet all you who said US military involvement in the Korean war was inappropriate have some pretty red faces right about now)

As you wave that pussy in the air like you just don't care the females start to be pulled to you like the cat is one of those electric bug zapper lights, and they are just a bunch of unsuspecting sexy moths. Before you know it the dance floor turns into some awesome parody of that seen form Boogie Nights were Dirk Diggler and Broc Landers are at the disco and Broc fades back as all the women move in and start swoon over dirk.

Now I know the whole cloning thing is kind of creepy, but seriously GLOW IN THE DARK CATS i mean come on, thats pretty fucking awesome. Plus it would make feral cat night chases like a million times easier for ACO's. Please everyone write your congressmen about this one if for nothing else but the greater good of coolness.

check out PARTY TIME 2000 on myspace it's definitely worth you time
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=103807327

MP3
PARTY TIME 2000 - My Moustache

(real glow in the dark cats below, check it out)

5 comments:

Faith! said...

Glow in the dark cat as party accessory is the most compelling argument I've heard on the topic. Because seriously, what else do you do with it?

alikoz said...

do you have an opinion on this?
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23271578-1702,00.html

Anonymous said...

wow, i need a glow in the dark kitten. in fact i need 2 glow in the dark kittens and some sort of harness so i could tie tie them both to show laces and then i could do some sweet raving with them.

-malecki

fraction said...

so i opened the Party Time profile in a separate tab, forgot about it, and started watching the video clip you posted about the cats. the champagne moustache song started playing along with the video and i was about to give some mad props to Natl Geographic for going forward with the next big club scene these cats could pioneer, and i thought that hey, matt's whole club scenario is totally going along with that, then i realized it was just an awesome accident on my behalf. they should really consider re-editing that footage with Party Time, it could totally work.

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